Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
