You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i think i scared a bird with my dick
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
