He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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