guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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