im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
