you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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