Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
this hospital has no fireball
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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