? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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