So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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