i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
