hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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