like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
