the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
