My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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