chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
