i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
