He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
