It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
