Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
