Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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