talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
