i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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