I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My boob is missing a layer of skin
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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