Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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