I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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