They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
