that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
