Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
