dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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