tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
