i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
