Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
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it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
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How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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