I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize