So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
