He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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