I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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