i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize