I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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