You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
