it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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