is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
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Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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