dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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