I will die if light touches me.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
