Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize