What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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