I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
