and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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