he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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