so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
