we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
