i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
