Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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