just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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