Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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