its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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