Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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