Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize