No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
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my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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