your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
