i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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