My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
wow bdsm is so cute
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